i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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