Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
