im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize