we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
