Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
