Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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