it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
