shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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