Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
