I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
