I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
