Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
