I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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