you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
