his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
