you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
