he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
