am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
