hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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