One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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