gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
