dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
