the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
