I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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