So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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