as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
