Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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