I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize