i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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