Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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