That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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