how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
