Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
