My cat gives me a boner
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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