Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
