Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
