I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
