if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
