I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
