i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize