Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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