God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
