mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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