i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
