He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
