I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
