I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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