Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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