I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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