honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
