I just saw a hot homeless man
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
