I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
