I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
