Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
