Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
