Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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