What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
