Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize