i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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