You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
