It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Mom said you looked used
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
