This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
