It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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