i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I party with great urgency now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
