If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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