seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
