good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize